What’s the “Why” Behind your Goals?

Much has been written about setting goals and developing action plans to achieve these goals but one aspect of goal setting that may get overlooked is the “why”. 

In Cindra Kamphoff’s book, Beyond Grit, she asks for the “why” powering the goal.  This “why” is the engine that will move you forward and close the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

“Why” we want to achieve our goals is a really important part of the equation.  As a coach it is important for me to know my athlete’s motivation.  As a coach I am here to serve and unless I know what is important and my athletes’  ” why” I may miss the opportunity to help them reach their goals.

A Winding Road

 We know the road to success is not a straight line.  There will be days, weeks or even months when the road is hard and the rewards seems distant. You might take two steps backwards before you move forward.  An injury may set you back.

Who knew in January of 2020 our best laid plans would be victim to a pandemic.  Athletes had to learn to pivot and find new ways to train and remain focused despite a total life disruption.  Coaches had to find new ways to train their athletes and stay connected. Our life as we knew it was changed. It is times like these when it is important to remember your “why”.

If you are committed to your “why” you will find a way to persist.  This will be the guiding light, the lighthouse in the storm, providing you with direction and purpose. 

How many of us pose the question to our athletes or ourselves; “Why” are these goals meaningful; why do they matter? What will the picture of success look like when those goals are achieved?  We can’t assume we know our athletes’ “why.”    

Is Winning Their ‘Why’?

I was a coach of a competitive Theater on Ice team for 13 years.  I routinely did a survey at the end of the season to assess how I did as a coach and what the team valued. I assumed winning was the most important to my athletes. Wrong.

 Winning was not at the top of the list of priorities.  Yes, they wanted to win but it wasn’t as important as having fun, being with their team mates and skating a performance they could be proud of.  They also loved the team dinners, the thrill of staying overnight in a hotel and their annual roasting of the coaches.  This was an invaluable lesson for me.  The journey had to be fun and relationships had to be built. Skating was important but at the end of the day the relationships and experiences we had as a team were valued as much or more than the medals.

So, ask your athletes what is important to them.  Find out what is driving them. It could be as simple as, loving the challenge of learning a new skill, or testing themselves to see how far they can go in the sport.  Maybe they have something to prove to themselves or someone else, or want to feel a sense of personal expression.   We need to know as coaches what is driving our athletes. 

 I know identifying the “why” may seem like a tall order for some of our younger athletes but I like to plant seeds.  It’s not too early to get them thinking of their “why”.  You might be surprised with what they have to share. We need to challenge them a bit, give them ownership in their sport and develop a relationship with them that starts with understanding what they want for themselves.

4 tips for identifying the “Why”

1. To help our athletes identify their “why”, ask them to think back to when they first started their sport and write what they loved about it and how it made them feel?
2. Write about the good that comes from the pursuit of the “why”. How does it make you better or impact others?
3. An exercise in Beyond Grit by Kamphoff, is to answer this question 6 times:  I do what I do, so that __________________ . Each time you answer you are digging a little deeper and finding what is important to you.  Why you do what you do.
4. Once you have crystallized your “why” write it down and put it in places you see daily. Perhaps on the refrigerator door, bathroom mirror or in your sport bag.   Let it be a reminder especially through the topsy turvy parts of the journey to your big goal.

Asking ourselves why we do what we do is important for coaches as well as athletes. Answering this question brings us to understand our purpose as coaches.  John Ehrmann, former NFL football player, high school coach, and author of InSide Out Coaching explains, “I coach to help boys become men of empathy, integrity who will lead, be responsible and change the world for good.”

What is your “Why?”