“Successful people often exude confidence – it’s obvious they believe in themselves and what they are doing. It isn’t the success that makes them confident, however, the confidence was there first.”
-Travis Bradberry
Do you wish you had more confidence? Does it seem like confidence is this elusive quality that is never quite there when you need it? Are you the one waiting to land the first jump in your program, or see how the first serve goes in order to feel confident?
If so, you are not alone. Waiting for something great to happen is like sitting in the passenger’s seat. You need to be in the driver’s seat to take control and go into competition feeling prepared, confident and trusting your body to do what you trained it to do. Waiting or reacting to every move or play will put you on the confidence roller coaster: up one minute, down the next. This is not where you want to be.
One facet of building confidence focuses on behaviors we have to let go of because they hinder our confidence: such as doubts, perfectionism, expectations, social approval and more. But today I want us to be proactive and review a few things you can do to be confident.
#1: Positive Self-Talk
Confident athletes use positive self-talk. Studies suggest we have over 6,000 thoughts a day. What are you saying to yourself all day? It’s a good question. Becoming aware of your negative self-talk or inner critic is important. What’s your self talk after making a mistake? Do you tend to beat yourself up for your mistakes or do you pick yourself up and use encouraging words? Saying things like, “I stink and I don’t know why I even try,” is not going to serve you well.
Learning to challenge the inner critic and say, “mistakes happen, let it go and move on,” will serve you better. Take stock of your inner critic before, during and after competition. Make a game of it. Name your inner critic and talk back to it. Challenge the negative thoughts and counter with positive self talk to encourage your greatness. Pay attention to what you are saying to yourself and be sure it is helping you to move forward.
#2: Visualize Success
Confident athletes visualize their success. They control the images in their mind. Visualization or imagery is a powerful tool you can use to create images of success, and thus, build a bridge to greater confidence. Imagery can be used as a means to enhance competition-related thoughts and emotions, like confidence.
Ask yourself: what does a confident athlete look like? Develop a clear and vivid image of what you look like when performing with confidence. Take those qualities and visualize yourself performing with confidence. See yourself take your starting position with an air of confidence, owning the ice, and see yourself successfully perform your program.
Imagery needs you to use all your senses so you can create vivid and realistic images. You control the images as well. You can either visualize yourself as if performing the skills or as if you were watching yourself perform the skill.
Another way is to visualize uncomfortable or challenging situations and visualize how you will respond to them. I call this “anticipate and cope.” Many athletes worry about all the things that “might” happen. But if you can visualize a coping response to a particular scenario you are ahead of the game. For example, if you fall within seconds of your program, visualize yourself getting up and finishing strong. Should that event occur, you have already rehearsed in your mind’s eye how you will respond. It’s like you were already there. This can bolster your confidence.
#3: Draw on Your Strengths
Confident athletes draw on their strengths and past accomplishments. Create a confidence resume. This means taking stock of your strengths in all areas of your sport, such as the technical, tactical, practice/ training habits, support system, coaching, past accomplishments, current skills, experience and your mental game. This list reflects your strengths and the reasons you have to be confident. Review it frequently, and add to it regularly. It is a living, breathing document that grows as you have more success.
Success isn’t just measured in wins, losses or medals but in setting a small goal, (i.e., 50 push-ups a day for 1 month) and getting it done. Doing this shows you can set a goal and stick to it, no matter what. There were probably days when you were too tired or too sore, but you did it anyway. I also like to think of this as a “coin” in the confidence bank. We all like to see our bank accounts grow, so making frequent deposits allows you to feel satisfied and confident with all deposits, both big and small. Challenge yourself to make a deposit every day. “Ca-ching!”
Owning It
Assume the role of a confident athlete. Ask yourself what can you do today to get better at what you love? Each action you take gets you a little closer to your goals. Confidence comes with both small and big victories. What will you do today to grow your confidence?
These are three mental skill strategies you can take right now to build your confidence:
- Positive self-talk, name that inner critic and counter the negative thoughts.
- Visualize your success often in vivid and realistic imagery.
- Write your confidence resume. Keep that resume handy and refer to it often.
Take ownership of your confidence. Be proactive.
Closing question: What other actions or behaviors, besides the three listed, can you take to build your confidence?
Coach Gianine
Inner Edge Performance Coach
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